What is matrescence?

Matrescence is a term created by the remarkable anthropologist Dr Dana Raphael, who, incidentally, also introduced the term doula. A word you are probably more likely to be familiar with.

Matrescence refers to the period of transition of becoming who you are on the other side pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. It is the physical, emotional, hormonal and social process of becoming a mother.

It’s both as simple and as complex as that.

How long does matrescence last?

The period of matrescence is different for everyone. For some women, the transition is quite fast, and can be complete in the early stages of their child’s life.

For other women, it can continue throughout their life. 

It can also be a once-off experience with your first child only, or it can recur as you have additional children.

The other big hormonal change: matrescence vs adolescence.

To give context, think about what you know about adolescence. What typically happens during adolescence?

Your body is changing dramatically. You feel ready to be an adult, but in many ways, you still want to be a child. You have mixed emotions. You have SO many questions. 

Your parents want to know EVERYTHING and you want to tell them nothing. You’re ready to tell them to piss off over the tiniest thing, because your emotions are controlling you.

And because everyone understands this period of change, you’re given the space and freedom to just be an adolescent. Sure, you might get caught smoking behind the footy change rooms, get grounded and miss that party everyone is going to this Friday night. But your actions are understood, written off as “just being an adolescent”, and mostly forgiven.

It’s so similar in this transition. The erratic, unpredictable behaviour caused by raging, new and unfamiliar hormones.

Yet, we don't talk about it. 

That needs to change. And to change, we need awareness, and we need knowledge through education.

Being mindful of matrescence.

Knowledge really is power. 

I bet that already, you’re feeling like “Wow, this makes SO much sense! How have I not heard this word before?!”.

Every woman, when she hears this word for the first time, has a similar reaction. And I think that’s powerful.

Understanding the significance of matrescence.

Matrescence is the most significant physical and psychological change a woman will EVER experience. EVER. It’s bigger than adolescence (and we know that’s a big change). It’s bigger than menopause. 

No other time in a woman's life even comes close to the changes brought about by matrescence.

Yet we’re not talking about it. 

We’re not even acknowledging it.

But we are trying to change that.

Normalising matrescence through verbalising it.

As you transition to motherhood, there’s a sense of yearning for the woman you used to be. You don’t want to let go of her, but you’re mindful that you’re different now too. You look different, you feel different, and you have different emotions. 

You know you're not yet the exact version of the mother you want to be. But you’re also not who you used to be either. And you find yourself wondering “How do I still be me, yet also be a mother?”. 

You’re deep in that real transition phase.

Except, you don’t know how to express it.

Imagine if the obvious change you’re going through – and the resulting behaviours – could simply and succinctly be explained as “Oh, she's in matrescence”. It would feel like you’ve been granted the permission you desperately need to figure your way through early motherhood without fear of judgement. 

Why does it matter?

Understanding matrescence, both individually as a woman but also collectively as a society matters in a big way. Understanding this change gives us insight into our emotions, it normalises and validates the changes that are occurring. It allows women to be more valued and supported in their transition to mothering and maybe most importantly it gives us the language to be able to talk about it.

I hope you have learnt a little more about the language of motherhood and I encourage you to share the term ‘matrescence’ with anyone who will listen :)